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2/14/2005

How they really became conservative

Over at The Conservative Philosopher Keith Burgess Jackson has asked his fellow bloggers to explain how and why they became conservatives.

This ought to be good.

I imagine we'll be hearing some high-falutin' rhetoric about tradition, and family values, and Freedom.TM

You'll have to pardon me if I suspect that the actual reasons are not likely to be quite so noble. Of the top of my head, I think the most popular reasons for becoming conservative probably include the following:

  • Wanted to stop feeling guilty about being rich
  • Democratic Party moved too far to the left when it adopted its "Let's at least stop and think before we bomb somebody" policy
  • Frightened of own homosexual urges
  • Sharp blow to the head
  • Felt only Republicans really understood how hard it is to be a white, middle class male these days
  • Wanted a philosophical foundation for xenophobia
  • Got mugged
  • Lady friend murdered by Black Panthers
  • Figured if they couldn't get laid, why should anyone else?
  • Strong support for Israel seemed like a good way to hide anti-semitism
  • Wanted vicarious thrill of killing without actually putting selves in harm's way

Then again, maybe they were just convinced by the thoughtful arguments of Limbaugh, Hannity, and Coulter.

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