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Free speech and salad dressing

Conservatives like to act like tough guys and gals, but it doesn't take much to get them wailing about some new example of perceived oppression by the "liberal elite." For example, you'll often hear them complaining about supposed anti-Christian discrimination just because some business somewhere doesn't let their employees wear crucifixes, or Google fails to pay tribute to the resurrection of Christ. This time, the wingnutters are screeching about the grave danger of ... salad dressing.

The context of this: at a recent appearance at Western Michigan University, wingnut extraordinaire Pat Buchanan was doused with salad dressing by a protester angry with his anti-immigrant views.

But the danger is not just salad dressing per se; apparently, some on the Right feel that throwing food at someone is tantamount to attempting to deny their right to free speech.

What is doubly bizarre about this is how widespread this irrational fear of condiments is. Leading the charge is head wingnut Michelle Malkin, who is, quite simply, completely fucking insane, as evidenced by her hysterics over the salad dressing incident:

If you think this is funny, you are sick. This is madness and it is chilling. Where are all the free-speech defenders when you need them?


These unhinged moonbats have more thoroughly exposed the great myth of liberal tolerance than any conservative critic could. For that, I suppose we should be grateful.

It is time, however, for the Left to get a grip. Get back on your meds. In the end, you are only harming yourselves.

Do me a favor: first look at this picture from Malkin's appearance on Hardball, and then tell me who, exactly, is "unhingend" and needs to "get a grip" and "get back on their meds":

Now that, friends, is "chilling."

Also chilling is the rapidity with which this particular manifestation of right-wing insanity is spreading, as conservative bloggers are all over the Left's evil plot to stifle their free speech via pies and salad dressing. Here's Doug Allen from Catallarchy:

If the notion that the far left is any more pro-free speech than their right-wing counterparts hasn’t officially died yet, this certainly closes the book on that myth.

Some jackass at "The American Thinker" (sic) says:

I have said before and I will say it again. Cream pies, salad dressing, and other comestible weapons are used to humiliate and ultimately silence political opponents. It is a serious crime against free discourse. The ridiculous weapons employed mask a serious political agenda, one which is totalitarian in aim.

See how dangerous food can be--why, it's the first step on the road to totalitarianism!!

Other right wing nonsense about this incident:

From Scared Monkeys (fitting, no?):

What in the HELL is going on with the LEFT is this country? Have they lost their collective minds? Those tolerant, all loving, free speech individuals that have called their counterparts on the RIGHT intolerant and closed minded may want to look in the mirror.

... the tolerant left showed their true colors when Pat Buchanan while speaking at an appearance was doused with salad dressing ... This comes following Tuesday night’s incident where A pie was thrown at the face of conservative pundit William Kristol during a speech at Earlham College.


Define hypocrisy? The Lefts incessant bitching and moaning about free speech and the Right’s so called Brown Shirt Gestapo tactics when all the Left does at every turn is prevent those that are Conservative to talk using intimidation and violence. News Flash to the Left: The 1st Amendment goes both ways.

Kick a Pig:

The fact is, the far left is waging a war against free speech ... Big Brother is not just watching, he is starting to limit our basic American freedoms...


The way liberals often understand free speech seems to be taken straight from a political satire - "sure, you have freedom of speech, as long as you say what we want you to say."

Ace of Trump:

Ah, the tolerant Left rears its ugly head again. While purporting to love "diversity" it's really just a sham. True intellectual diversity is anathema to them. Obviously, they understand that they're losing the war if they need to resort to childish behavior like this to try to suppress the free exchange of ideas. And the liberals claim that conservatives are fascists, hah hah.

And so on. As conservatives see it, the motivation behind these "assaults" is an attempt to prohibit free speech.

In the interest of furthering a free and open discourse, I would like to present hypothesis regarding why, exactly, someone might be inclined to dump a bottle of salad dressing on Pat Buchanan's head:

Because Buchanan is a ridiculous buffoon.

He is not someone to take seriously. He's not any less of a bastard than say, Henry Kissinger; he is, however, much less important--outside of his own mind, that is. Whereas Kissinger actually is a war criminal, Pat is just an apologist for war criminals--including, by the way, Adolf Hitler, whom Buchanan calls "an individual of great courage."

Buchanan has also defended segregation, the apartheid government of South Africa, and David Duke; he has also called homosexuals Satan-worshippers and claimed that AIDS is "nature's retribution" for homosexuality.

That's right.

I'd say a salad-dressing bath is an appropriate response to a clown like Buchanan.

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