Dada is the sun, Dada is the egg. Dada is the Police of the Police.

4/19/2005

Get off my fucking turf I am an idiot

NOTE: Please see update at the bottom of this post.


For weeks now, I have been a lone voice in the wilderness (with a couple of notable exceptions) defending the practice of tossing pie, salad dressing, etc. at wingnut buffoons like David Horowitz. At first, I was mostly just making fun of right-wingers like Michelle Malkin and others who screeched about these "chilling" attacks on wingnut free speech, and their seemingly pathological fear of condiments and pastries.

Then, after seeing even nonpareil lefty blogger Billmon join the chorus of those criticizing the pie-tossers, I felt the need to defend the practice, and argued that dumping food on clowns like Horowitz was actually a proper response to their nonsense, certainly preferable to 'debating' their 'ideas' as if they were actually rational, civilized beings. (This of course brought me under attack by various wingnuts, an attack to which I responded by calling them hysterical ninnies who are perpetually crying 'victim'.)

Now all of a sudden johnny-come-lately Newsweek columnist Gersh Kuntzman comes along, saying more or less the same thing:


The last few days have seen the predictable lament that the pie-throwers represent the worst thing about democracy—people so inarticulate that the only way they can counter such toxic thinkers as Coulter is to seize the moral low ground by trying to curtail their free speech.

That is far too simple an argument. Throwing a pie at someone who deserves it is one of the most celebrated traditions in our so-called culture.


He goes on to quote, approvingly, former Yippie and pie-thrower extraordinaire Aron Kay, a.k.a. the Pieman:


Pieing is an essential tool for deflating the pomposity of these politicians and commentators. I considered myself a defender of justice. But believe me, I still have a list of people who need to be pied.


Now, all things being equal, I would welcome Kuntzman as a new ally. But the bastard doesn't give me credit for being among the first to stand up for the legitimacy of pie-tossing! What the fuck?!? Just because you're some big-shot writer for a national news magazine (and a fucking shitty one, I might add), you think you're allowed to appropriate the causes of us little people and expect to get all the credit yourself? Fuck that. Give credit where credit is fucking due. You want to jump on the bandwagon, fine. But it's only decent to acknowledge those who went before you.

Otherwise, back up off my tip, motherfucker.



The above post was a poor and ill-advised attempt at humor/sarcasm via bombast. I am not really angry at Mr. Kuntzman; none of the things I said about him are true. I thought it would be obvious that it would be insanely unreasonable of me to expect a writer for major media outlets (all of which I would happily accept money to write for, BTW) to have "checked with me first" as if he even knew who the hell I was. And that much probably was obvious; what wasn't obvious, based on feedback from various sources, was that I realized how unreasonable it was. There are plenty of weenies out there in the blogosphere who do have an over-inflated enough sense of their own importance to make similar demands; please believe me when I assure you I am not one of those weenies. I was (lamely) trying to parody these weenies. In retrospect, there wasn't anything particularly humorous about it. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I'm really not sure why I expected anyone who isn't able to read my mind to know that I was kidding.

Part of the problem (though I'm not trying to excuse myself) is the nature of blogging; it is very easy to post something before you really think about it at all. Something catches your mind's fancy, you bang it out onto the screen, and then it's out in the world. Sometimes this is a great thing; sometimes it makes you look very stupid. This was one of the latter times.

My sincere apologies to Mr. Kuntzman (whose article, by the way, is an example of something that is actually funny). I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I hate myself. I'm an idiot.

Next time I will think before I post.

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