Dada is the sun, Dada is the egg. Dada is the Police of the Police.

4/10/2005

Give me money, bitches

One of the strangest things that bloggers do, in my opinion, is periodically beg their readers for money. Steve Gilliard, whose blog is without question first-rate, is currently having a "fund drive." Andrew Sullivan used to do this, too. It is really quite common: the blogger tells you how hard he works at finding entertaining and enlightening things to say, how much time he puts into monitoring the news and doing research, etc. etc., then points out that he/she doesn't charge for these services, that his/her blog is (and always will be) available, for free, to anyone who cares to read it, so really you should please think about giving him/her some money.

This has always seemed weird to me, like if you were hanging out with a friend, and then he started saying, "Look, I work hard on being your friend, and I put a lot of time and effort into coming up with witty things to say to you. Furthermore, I never require you to me pay me for this service, and I have no plans to. But won't you consider donating to me, so that I may continue to provide my services?"

Even crazier is that this actually seems to work; people do, indeed, pay money to these bloggers without getting anything in return!! It's like, all you have to do is say: "Hey, people, give me some money," and they will.

Well, if that's the case, then .... HEY--give me some money. All you people reading this: you owe me. I've been giving it away for free all this time. Don't you think it's the least you could do to send me some of your hard- or not-so-hard-earned money?

Now, I don't have that many readers, so you all are going to have to pony up something serious. I figure an average donation of approx. $1,000 would be about right. I think that is a fair price, given the steady stream of insightful and witty commentary that this site provides to you, the reader. While it's true that I pay nothing for the Blogger service, and that I would probably waste just as much time on the internet even if I weren't blogging, and that I don't really have anything to add to political or cultural discourse that you couldn't find at a million other blogs by know-it-all smartasses like me ... still, give me money.

Your kid can wait until next year for braces, and your wife doesn't really need those breast implants. Stop being so selfish and start giving your money to a worthy cause. No, not OXFAM, or Amnesty International. You can't trust these outfits. You know that Paul Newman dressing, the profits of which supposedly all go to charity? My sources tell me that actually, nearly 90% of the money goes straight into Paul's ivory ball-scratcher fund.

You can be assured, however, that any money you give to me will never be put to such frivolous uses. Rather, it will be directed right back into the ol' blog, so that you can continue to experience blogging at its finest.

So ... who wants to make the historic first donation to the first annual Dadahead "Give Me Money, Bitches" pledge drive?

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