Dada is the sun, Dada is the egg. Dada is the Police of the Police.

5/02/2005

Clowning around

John Hawkins at Right Wing News (the same outfit that called yours truly a Nazi for arguing that David Horowitz deserved to get hit in the face with a pie) has a post about the 'South Park Conservative' phenomenon, responding to Damian Penny who asked "Is South Park really a conservative TV series?" (Incidentally, Damian is also upset about the endorsement of Dennis Kucinich by a cartoon dog.) John says yes:

South Park isn't totally friendly to conservatives. It's vulgar, obscene, a bit deviant, and the show certainly doesn't bend over backwards to give Republicans a pat on the back. Moreover, South Park is generally (but not totally) hostile & dismissive of religion. So given that, what's the show's charm to conservatives? It can be summed up with one quote by Matt Stone, one of the co-creators of the show:

"I hate conservatives, but I really f*cking hate liberals."

And he does.

The show ruthlessly skewers liberals on a regular basis --- whether you're talking about environmental wackos, PETA, know-it-all celebrities, illegal immigration, hate crime laws, sexual harassment, the rain forest, feminists, vegetarians, you name it...


Yeah, whatever. Here's what I'm really wondering about, though. With respect to the crassness of the show, John writes:


I spent my high school and early college years listening to gangster rap by bands like 2 Live Crew, NWA, & the Ghetto Boys and I still listen to the Insane Clown Posse. So, I'm not offended by the lewd topics or bad language in the show.


Did you catch that? Look at it again.

"I still listen to the Insane Clown Posse."

In case you are fortunate enough not to have previously heard of the Insane Clown Posse, they are a rap duo who dress and act like evil insane clowns. They look like this:



Apparently their fan base mostly consists of teenage boys who aren't sophisticated enough for Marilyn Manson. In case you were wondering, there is absolutely no indication that this is any kind of ironic joke on the part of the insane clowns. They mean it. Here are the lyrics to a song by the insane clowns called 'I Stab People':

I stab people, 4 or 5 people every day
I tried to see a shrink to stop that shit
But there aint no fuckin way
I stabed 'em, this nurse and his fuckin cat
Stabbed 'em, stabbed 'em all like that!
I stab people i know, i stabbed alex my mannager
He was like "what tha fuck!"
I stabbed 'em in the gut!
I order food just to stab the guy when he gets there
I don't care, i stab anybody anywere
I stabbed the mailman he was pissed
He tried to mase me
I'm too quick with the stab, come on come on chase me
I stabbed twiztid, jamie madrox, i stabbed 'em
Myzery stabbed me, ahh god damn 'em
I stab old people, old ladies, little kids, i don't give a fuck
I stabbed the fat guy in the butt, hehe what
I stabbed pete rose, i stabbed 'em twice in his nipple i'm violent j and i stab
people


Here's a song called 'Fuck the World':


Fuck you, fuck me, fuck us
Fuck tom fuck mary fuck gus
Fuck daris, fuck everybody on the west coast
And fuck everybody on the east
Eat shit and die, or fuck off at least
Fuck pre-schoolers, fuck rulers,
Kings and queens and gold jewlers
Fuck wine coolers
Fuck chickens, fuck ducks
Everybody in your crew sucks punk motha fucks
Fuck critics, fuck your review
Even if you like me, fuck you!
Fuck your mom, fuck your mom's mamma
Fuck the beastie boys and the dahli llama
Fuck the rain forest, fuck a forest gump
You probably like it in the rump, fuck a shoe pump
Fuck the real deal, and fuck all the fakes
Fuck all 52 states, oooh
And fuck you

Fuck oprah, fuck opera, fuck a soap opera
Fuck a pop locker and a cock blocker
Fuck your girlfriend, i probably did her already
Fuck kyle and his brother tom petty, jump steady
My homie fuck 'em what are ya gonna do
Fuck that bitch man fuck you
Yeah well fuck you to
Don't bother to analyze these rhymes
In this song i say fuck 93 times
Fuck the president, fuck your welfare
Fuck your government and fuck fred bear
Fuck newgent, like anybody gives a fuck
You like to hunt a lot, so fuckin what!
Fuck disco, count a monty crisco
Fuck cisco, and jack and jerry brisco
And fuck everyone that went down
With the titanic, in a panic
I'm like, fuck you all!!!!

Fuck celine dion and fuck deion walrick
You both make me sick, suck my dick
Fuck the berlin wall, both sides of it
And fuck lyle luvitt, whoever the fuck that is
Fuck everybody in the hemisphere
Fuck them across the world and fuck them right here

(By the way, I just C&Ped those lyrics from fan sites, so don't blame me for any spelling errors. And don't blame them either; really, what else did you expect? I could go through and clean it up, but (a) I don't feel like doing that and (b) it's funnier this way.)

There is no indication that John Hawkins is a 13-year-old boy with ADD, so it's kind of disturbing that he is a fan of the 'ICP' (as their fans call them). What's even more disturbing is that he doesn't seem to realize that that is not something he should admit to the entire world. It's bad enough that you are listening to this stuff; at least do it in the privacy of your own home, and don't go blabbing about it on the internet.

What would Lynne Cheney think?

Then again, Lynne Cheney does dabble in lesbian erotica, so maybe she wouldn't mind. And now that I think of it, most Republicans are in fact insane clowns, so maybe it's only proper that John is a fan.

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