Dada is the sun, Dada is the egg. Dada is the Police of the Police.


My nomination for the next Pope

Sparkle at Homo Ludens provides us with a nugget of "Papal Trivia":

Sylvester was once a very popular name for popes.

Well, seeing as how Pope John Paul II just died and we're in need of a new Pope, I think now is the perfect time to restore this particular tradition. Thus, my nomination for the next Pope:

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Pope Sylvester IV.

Free speech and salad dressing

Conservatives like to act like tough guys and gals, but it doesn't take much to get them wailing about some new example of perceived oppression by the "liberal elite." For example, you'll often hear them complaining about supposed anti-Christian discrimination just because some business somewhere doesn't let their employees wear crucifixes, or Google fails to pay tribute to the resurrection of Christ. This time, the wingnutters are screeching about the grave danger of ... salad dressing.

The context of this: at a recent appearance at Western Michigan University, wingnut extraordinaire Pat Buchanan was doused with salad dressing by a protester angry with his anti-immigrant views.

But the danger is not just salad dressing per se; apparently, some on the Right feel that throwing food at someone is tantamount to attempting to deny their right to free speech.

What is doubly bizarre about this is how widespread this irrational fear of condiments is. Leading the charge is head wingnut Michelle Malkin, who is, quite simply, completely fucking insane, as evidenced by her hysterics over the salad dressing incident:

If you think this is funny, you are sick. This is madness and it is chilling. Where are all the free-speech defenders when you need them?


These unhinged moonbats have more thoroughly exposed the great myth of liberal tolerance than any conservative critic could. For that, I suppose we should be grateful.

It is time, however, for the Left to get a grip. Get back on your meds. In the end, you are only harming yourselves.

Do me a favor: first look at this picture from Malkin's appearance on Hardball, and then tell me who, exactly, is "unhingend" and needs to "get a grip" and "get back on their meds":

Now that, friends, is "chilling."

Also chilling is the rapidity with which this particular manifestation of right-wing insanity is spreading, as conservative bloggers are all over the Left's evil plot to stifle their free speech via pies and salad dressing. Here's Doug Allen from Catallarchy:

If the notion that the far left is any more pro-free speech than their right-wing counterparts hasn’t officially died yet, this certainly closes the book on that myth.

Some jackass at "The American Thinker" (sic) says:

I have said before and I will say it again. Cream pies, salad dressing, and other comestible weapons are used to humiliate and ultimately silence political opponents. It is a serious crime against free discourse. The ridiculous weapons employed mask a serious political agenda, one which is totalitarian in aim.

See how dangerous food can be--why, it's the first step on the road to totalitarianism!!

Other right wing nonsense about this incident:

From Scared Monkeys (fitting, no?):

What in the HELL is going on with the LEFT is this country? Have they lost their collective minds? Those tolerant, all loving, free speech individuals that have called their counterparts on the RIGHT intolerant and closed minded may want to look in the mirror.

... the tolerant left showed their true colors when Pat Buchanan while speaking at an appearance was doused with salad dressing ... This comes following Tuesday night’s incident where A pie was thrown at the face of conservative pundit William Kristol during a speech at Earlham College.


Define hypocrisy? The Lefts incessant bitching and moaning about free speech and the Right’s so called Brown Shirt Gestapo tactics when all the Left does at every turn is prevent those that are Conservative to talk using intimidation and violence. News Flash to the Left: The 1st Amendment goes both ways.

Kick a Pig:

The fact is, the far left is waging a war against free speech ... Big Brother is not just watching, he is starting to limit our basic American freedoms...


The way liberals often understand free speech seems to be taken straight from a political satire - "sure, you have freedom of speech, as long as you say what we want you to say."

Ace of Trump:

Ah, the tolerant Left rears its ugly head again. While purporting to love "diversity" it's really just a sham. True intellectual diversity is anathema to them. Obviously, they understand that they're losing the war if they need to resort to childish behavior like this to try to suppress the free exchange of ideas. And the liberals claim that conservatives are fascists, hah hah.

And so on. As conservatives see it, the motivation behind these "assaults" is an attempt to prohibit free speech.

In the interest of furthering a free and open discourse, I would like to present hypothesis regarding why, exactly, someone might be inclined to dump a bottle of salad dressing on Pat Buchanan's head:

Because Buchanan is a ridiculous buffoon.

He is not someone to take seriously. He's not any less of a bastard than say, Henry Kissinger; he is, however, much less important--outside of his own mind, that is. Whereas Kissinger actually is a war criminal, Pat is just an apologist for war criminals--including, by the way, Adolf Hitler, whom Buchanan calls "an individual of great courage."

Buchanan has also defended segregation, the apartheid government of South Africa, and David Duke; he has also called homosexuals Satan-worshippers and claimed that AIDS is "nature's retribution" for homosexuality.

That's right.

I'd say a salad-dressing bath is an appropriate response to a clown like Buchanan.

God Hates Figs

Surely you've heard of Fred Phelps and his website He's the one who demonstrates at the funerals of gay people, and who plans on protesting at Jerry Falwell's funeral because Falwell "spread the lie that God loves fags and only hates their sins" (link here; PDF file).

Well apparently other decent God-fearing Christians like the good Rev. Phelps are following his lead, and getting the message out about what other things God hates. That's right--God doesn't just hate fags. Bringing to our attention another of the Almighty's pet peeves are the fine folks at! To get an idea of what they're all about, I've excerpted portions of their handy FAQ:

Who are you people, and why don't you get a life?

We represent the First Baptist Church of Mooksville, TN. We are renowned for our Ol Skool Flava, laying down the kind of heavy duty Primitive teachings that made Cotton Mather go crosseyed. We are practically the only church in the country that still goes in for vinegar baptism and self-flagellation, although we condemn recreational sadomasochism vigorously.

Basically, we believe that the world is divided into the damned, which almost certainly means you, and the elect, who will be rewarded for a lifetime of unpopularity by spending eternity doing country line dancing. Or something like that.

And we do have a life. We watch Touched By an Angel religiously (no pun intended.) We're known for our witty repartee and our fabulous book-burning parties. But every time we walk into a grocery store and see those awful turdlike Satanic morsels staring out at us from every shelf, our righteous indignation is stirred anew. Think of us as that quiet kid at the back of your fifth grade class who ran the chess club and secretly blew up mailboxes. Except now we're all grown up and moving on to bigger, better things.

If God made figs, why does He hate them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably had one of those ugly T-shirts when you were a kid that showed a little boy saying "God don't make no trash." Which is complete nonsense, if you stop to think about it for two seconds. I mean, go to any landfill, and what do you see? God's handiwork, for the most part. Theologians estimate that approximately 62 percent of all waste materials are God-made. Another 30 percent are man-made, and 8 percent are woman-made.

And God made all kinds of things which He hates. Including, but not limited to: snakes, homosexuals, the color mauve, ... rap music, cheese other than cheddar or American, ... reggae music made by people who aren't from Jamaica, galaxies other than our own ...

I think it's something like the impulse to stare at a horrific accident or domestic violence incident. Or one of those real life shows about when animals attack cops. You deplore what's happening, but you just have to keep watching. I once got hooked on Saved By the Bell, a show I hate. I had to tune in every week just to sit and bellow obscenities at the screen. I never missed it, even though my hatred deepened with each exposure. That's the way God is. He keeps creating these things, even though He really can't stand them. It's like scratching an itch that you know scratching is just going to make worse.

But aren't Christians supposed to believe in a loving God?

Ahh. Here's where we get to the heart of your confusion, my friend. That "loving God" stuff is really overplayed, and it's mostly based on the New Testament.

The New Testament God is like David Letterman after he moved from NBC to CBS. Or Lou Grant after the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore show. Or Major Kira after the first season of Deep Space Nine. You see it again and again, on television and elsewhere. The longer these cultural icons hang around, the more they lose the gritty, edgy, dangerous quality that made us love them in the first place.

God's like that. After His first few seasons in the Bible, He started to get all cute and loveable. Started talking about how only those without sin should cast the first stone and "Judge not, lest ye be judged." What a let-down. It really shows that God should have been canceled after the Book of Exodus, or at the latest the Book of Job. After that, it's all downhill into sickening gooeyness, although He regained a bit of His zing in the Book of Revelation. All that great apocalyptic stuff. But that's like the Babylon 5 finale: it was actually worked out before all the stuff that came before it.

So most people tend to just ignore all of that later stuff, focusing on God in His prime, before the writers got soft. Really, you can just stick with Leviticus, and ignore everything else. That's the blueprint for how to live a happy, well-integrated life.

Glad we could clear that up for you.

My child just swallowed a fig. What should I do?

One word: ipecac.

Seriously, better a little purging than a lot of purgatory. Although we don't, strictly speaking, believe in purgatory anyway. But your little rascal is poised on the edge of the precipice. Even if it's too late to save you, it may not be too late to save little Jimmy or Sue. Even if you only suspect your kid ate a fig, it never hurts to induce vomiting.

If you don't have ipecac in the house, the two-fingered method works as well. Make sure your kid understands that it's his own unrighteousness that is hurling forth onto the porcelain rim of the abyss.

Do you believe in figs in the military?

It goes without saying that the military's current policy of "If we don't see you eating it, you don't have to tell us you ate it" is totally inadequate. People have to live in very close quarters in the army, and it can make you very uncomfortable to know that one of your bunkmates is eating a fig. Or has eaten a fig sometime in the recent past. You could be afraid to sleep with your mouth open for fear someone will slip a fig into it.

Our boys in uniform are fighting for the freedom of the rest of us to be as decadent as we want in this great country. Is it too much to ask for them to be kept away from degenerate behavior? (Other than rape, prostitution, hard drugs and violent hazing, which are normal, healthy parts of the military experience.)

Makes you think, huh?

BTW, in case you were worried, God apparently has no quarrel with dates or prunes.


Google is censoring me

As recently as a couple of days ago, if you did a Google search for "Noah McCullough," my post entitled "I challenge Noah McCullough to a fight" came up on the very first page, about fourth or fifth.

I took some pleasure in imagining little Noah out there somewhere, innocently Googling his own name, and coming across my vow to kick the shit out of him, and perhaps following the link to the post where I dress him down for being such a pussy.

Today, however, this site doesn't turn up on a Google search for "Noah McCullough" until the bottom of the sixth page.

This is too sudden to be an accident. I can only assume that someone from the upper echelons of the Bush administration, possibly Karl Rove, had a little "chat" with the folks at Google.

Shame on Google for allowing the Bush administration to intimidate them into stifling my voice. Another victory for the fascists.

More discrimination against conservatives in Academia

This time it's at Fairleigh Dickinson University, and I am assured this is not an April Fool's joke:

Students expressed shock last week when a popular history professor suddenly was dismissed. Then many expressed disbelief after they discovered an audio-enhanced website where he spoke out against Jews and blacks, including FDU basketball players.

"He was my favorite professor," said one student. "I can't believe it is the same man."

In fact, Jacques Pluss, an adjunct professor at the Metropolitan Campus, openly discussed his March 21 dismissal from Fairleigh Dickinson in a 44-minute interview on a website of the National Socialist Movement designed with swastikas and a picture of Adolf Hitler.

Pluss said he was "removed" from his classroom duties when he received a brief phone call at 5:30 p.m. from the department chairman who, he said, told him he was being released "for the convenience of the university" the following day. "I was stolen away in the night," he said. Pluss reported that he will be paid his salary through the end of this semester. He also said he will retire from "the academic world" and devote himself to the cause of the White Aryan Race Nation.

The professor speculated that he was dismissed because of his work with the National Socialist Movement on the internet, adding that the university "followed the typical Jewish, lawyerly, Hebrew line." He suggested that a "watchdog group" may have alerted FDU about his activities beyond the classroom.

During one segment of the conversation, Pluss said the university did not want adverse publicity while its Division 1 basketball team was in the NCAA playoffs. He said the players are "niggers to the core" and "sit in the back of my class with CDs and earphones" listening to "ghastly rap music."

Earlier in the same broadcast, Pluss referred to the "browning of America" and called FDU a "heavily Judaized institution" with a large minority student population. He said those students are "floating their way through school on taxpayer dollars," adding that it (FDU) is "not just browned, but singed." He also discussed attending a recent "gathering" of the White Aryan Race Nation in South Carolina, commenting that he had been gratified by the turnout.

Left-wing fascists at it again.

Can someone get Prof. Pluss David Horowitz's phone number?

Are we sure this isn't a joke?


Death ain't so bad; Terri is with the dancing angels!

The Right tells us that Terri Schiavo's passing is a victory for the "culture of death" that permeates the Left. Timothy Birdnow calls us "deathheads" who worship death instead of God. Peggy Noonan says we are "in love" with death. Pat Buchanan compares those who would remove Mrs. Schiavo's feeding tube to Nazis (which you'd think would be a compliment, coming from Pat).

Bloggers have helped spread this meme as well. This jackass, in response to liberals who asked for a non-religiously based argument in favor of keeping Terri alive, says:

... here’s your “Non-Religious” answer, you smug, self-righteous, left wing rat-bastards. When I ask myself whether the society I want embraces life as the default, or death, it’s a no brainer. I pick the Culture of Life over the Culture of Death every time.

A Texan in Indiana sees Terri's passing (as well as, bizarrely, the apparently imminent death of the Pope) as the demise of his right to live:

RIP - my right to life, from conception until natural death.
April 18th, 1986 - March 31st, 2005

Methinks this one's a bit of a drama queen, no?

(Incidentally, could I just lay down one general rule: hideously ugly people should not post their pictures on their blogs. I am not necessarily referring to the previously mentioned bloggers. I'm just saying. Hypothetically, if you're butt-ugly, keep your pic off the site.)

So WTF? Why do right-wingers attribute the pro-euthanasia views of the Left as indicative of a perverse obsession with death? It seems to me to be far more morbid to artifically continue the life of what is essentially a breathing corpse. Isn't this about minimizing suffering and the right to die in a manner of one's own choosing? Is it just because we are "rat-bastards"?

Daniel Bonevac, a philosopher at the University of Texas and a blogger at Right Reason, offers us, appropriately, a more philosophical reason:

The idea-- axiomatic, I would have thought-- that life is intrinsically good, and death intrinsically bad, now meets rejection among a large number of people.

Finally, something at least approaching an argument. Is it a good one?

Well, Professor Bonevac considers this principle (life=intrinsically good, death=intrinsically bad) "axiomatic." I assume that he means by this something like: the truth of this principle is self-evident; the denial of it, while perhaps not logically impossible/contradictory, is unreasonable.

I don't know why he thinks this. First of all, many--perhaps most--moral philosophers who believe in the reality of the "intrinsically good" and the "intrinsically bad" do not identify them with life and death, respectively. E.g., Bentham thought pleasure the only intrinsic good, and pain the only intrinsic evil. Not everyone is a Benthamite, of course--in fact, hardly anyone is (except our friend Neil the Werewolf). But even so, it seems intuitive that life is not always a good thing. When one's life becomes primarily a matter of suffering, for instance. Or the life of a brutal murderer. In cases like these, I see no reason to suppose that there is anything intrinsically good about the continuation of life.

There is something else I truly do not understand. For the most part, those condemning the "culture of death" and advocating a "culture of life" are, broadly speaking, religious Conservatives. That is to say, they are devout, traditional Christians. Which is to say that they believe Christ died to redeem the sins of humanity, and that those who affirm their faith in Him are destined to be reunited with Him in the afterlife.

Then why the fuck do they think death is such a bad thing? How could this be not only bad, but intrinsically bad? Sounds like the best thing that could ever happen to you! (Assuming you're a Christian, of course--nonbelievers get sentenced to eternal torment. But God loves all of them!) I would think Christians, of all people, would be pretty damn accepting of death.

I see why they would still think it's immoral to commit suicide in the prime of one's life; there are other things to consider. You have certain responsibilities on Earth, people would miss you, etc. But when a woman is laying in a hospital bed for 15 years, not thinking, not experiencing, not living in any but a brute biological sense, why on Earth would Christians want to keep her alive? Let the woman receive her eternal reward, already!

This seeming paradox--death bestows upon one eternal bliss, but it's bad!--is on display in this unintentionally humorous post from a blogger named Paulie:

Terri Schiavo, Dancing with Angels


I'm sure by now you've heard that Terri Schiavo died today. We should all say lots of prayers for lots of things, but mostly that God's graces are vast and his justice is swift.


The outrage almost speaks for itself, but let's add a few words.

First, it's outrageous that food and water, delivered by any method, is determined extraordinary treatment under the circumstances in which Terri lived.


It's outrageous that, even allowing food and water delivered by a tube to be outlawed in this case, that feeding by traditional methods - a spoon - are banned, forcing the woman to die.

That these people do so proudly under the mantle of the law is an indictment upon our whole society.


That the culture of death in this country is so smug, and seemingly so firmly entrenched that euthanizing poor Terri is deemed a laudable act, is an outrage.

God Save Us.

So let me get this straight ... Terri is "dancing with angels," but the people who allowed her to do so are deserving of the full wrath of God?

Does this make sense to anyone? Shouldn't Christians be thanking Michael Schiavo for letting her dance with angels?

Am I missing something?

This is funny

More here.

It's over

Terri Schiavo dies.


Laugh at this and you are going to Hell

Terri Schiavo's blog.

(Via Ethical Werewolf.)

I didn't know you could eat with your nose


VATICAN CITY (CNN) -- Pope John Paul II is being fed through a nasal tube in an effort to boost his calorie intake, the Vatican says.

"To improve his calorific intake and promote an efficient recovery of his strength, nutrition via the positioning of a nasal-gastric tube has begun," Joaquin Navarro-Valls said in a statement released Wednesday.


Countdown smackdown

The brilliant Keith Olbermann has some harsh words for what Lindsay Beyerstein (who blogs under the handle "Majikthise," which is apparently some kind of nerdy reference to some science-fiction book) calls "pro-tubers"--i.e., those who are fighting to re-install Terri Schiavo's feeding tube, including those who accuse her husband of having ulterior motives:

It is possible that Michael Schiavo is a battering spouse or a murderer, just as it is possible that you are a battering spouse or a murderer.

But the odds against him (or you) being a battering spouse or murderer, and a complete idiot, are very, very high.

And that is exactly what the husband of the unfortunate, and unfortunately publicized, Terri Schiavo, would have to be, to have done what he did yesterday, unless his innocence was all but certain and the mainstream medical evidence on his wife’s condition all but incontrovertibly verified.

... Mr. Schiavo announced that after his wife’s life ends, he will delay the planned cremation of her body, and ask the Chief Medical Examiner of Pinellas County, Florida, to conduct a full autopsy on the cause of her now impending death.

If he, as some blood relatives of his wife now suggest after a decade of suggesting otherwise, somehow abused her ... it is not likely to be missed by the autopsy.


And if the part of her brain that makes her her was not irreparably damaged (in fact, turned to liquid)— as examination after examination and court after court has found— it is certain not to be missed by the autopsy.

In short, Mr. Schiavo has just given his critics three opportunities to prosecute him by authorizing, in fact requesting, the autopsy. If he'’s been lying, or the doctors have been wrong, or any of the hysteria stirred up by those operating both in good faith and bad in this case, is true— then he is a complete idiot.

This case should now be considered closed. Obviously it will not be. It will be perpetuated by a few good, sad people who do not want the woman they know as daughter, sister, or friend, to die. It will be perpetuated by others who cannot come to grips with the incongruity of part of her brain still acting automatically, like a stoplight in the middle of a desert. But mostly it will be perpetuated by people who do not and have not given a damn about Terri Schiavo, or her parents, or anyone but themselves and the opportunities to exploit this situation for their own personal or political beliefs.

Michael Schiavo'’s insistence on an autopsy will resolve more than just how hopeless his wife’s situation really has been. It will also be an autopsy on the credibility of those who have tried to manipulate her insentient condition. For, unless Michael Schiavo is a battering spouse or murderer, and a complete idiot, his public critics will be revealed as snake-oil salesmen who have not only exploited his wife, but also thousands of Americans who— just like me, and no doubt just like you— would love nothing more than to see Terri Schiavo rise from her bed and go home, happy, healthy, and fully restored.

Emphasis mine. Eloquence Keith's.


Is there room in Hell for one more?

He is kinda portly:

The Rev. Jerry Falwell was hospitalized in critical condition Tuesday, battling his second case of viral pneumonia in just five weeks, hospital and church officials said.

Falwell, 71, was admitted to Lynchburg General Hospital shortly before midnight Monday suffering from “respiratory arrest,” the hospital said in a statement.

He was put on a ventilator and stabilized but remained in critical condition, the hospital said.


Just in case there is any doubt as to the Reverend's qualifications for eternal damnation:

  • In the 1980s, Falwell opposed government attempts to deal with the AIDS crisis, saying that "herpes, AIDS, venereal diseases are a definite form of the judgment of God upon a society."
  • He has also said that "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."
  • In 1985 Falwell "met with leaders of the then-white supremacist government in South Africa and urged Americans to support the apartheid regime and oppose Bishop Desmond Tutu" who Falwell dismissed as "a phony."

And perhaps most famously, in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, Falwell said:

[T]he pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America...I point the finger in their face and say 'You helped this happen.'

This comment caused even Pat fucking Robertson to distance himself from Falwell.

Do you know how much of a lunatic you have to be for Pat Robertson to think you've gone too far?

If there is a God, this piggly-wiggly mother fucker will burn for all eternity.

Stupid stupid stupid

In a post entitled "Dehumanizing Terri, Part II," Michelle Malkin warns us that some "bioethicists are now arguing that Terri is not a human being."

What?? Terri not a human being? Well that's just preposterous. You tell me who is saying such things, Michelle, and I will give them the tongue-lashing of a lifetime. Bill Allen, you say?

Wesley Smith: Bill, do you think Terri is a person?

Bill Allen [a bioethicist]: No, I do not. I think having awareness is an essential criterion for personhood. Even minimal awareness would support some criterion of personhood, but I don't think complete absence of awareness does.

Wait a minute ... Michelle, you dumbfuck!! Being a "person" is not the same thing as being a "human being." So to say that Terri is not a person is not the same thing as saying she's not a human being.

The definition of "personhood" is controversial, but mere membership in the human species is neither a necessary nor sufficient condition for personhood. For example, an anencephalic baby (a baby born without a brain) is not a person, while a member of an intelligent alien species could be.

Allen wasn't saying that Terri is not human. He was saying that she doesn't meet the criteria for personhood.

I guess such distinctions are lost on shit-fer-brains Michelle.

Well fuck you, Sajak

I hope to God this is some kind of elaborate joke. Otherwise, it is yet another sign that we are all doomed ...

Via Catallarchy, I find that a new personality has entered the blogosphere. Fellow bloggers, let's give a not-so-warm welcome to Mr. Pat Sajak. You might remember him as the host of Wheel of Fortune. Apparently, in his spare time he is also a wingnut! Sajak says:

Every time I argue with a Liberal, I’m reminded of quarrels I used to have with my parents. The battles never seemed fair because my folks decided what the rules were and what was out of bounds. In addition, because they were parents, they could threaten me in ways I couldn’t threaten them, and they could say things I could never say.

Recently, for example, I was discussing the United Sates Supreme Court with on of my many Liberal friends out in Los Angeles when she said, without any discernable embarrassment, that Justice Anton Scalia was “worse than Hitler”. Realizing she wasn’t alive during World War II and perhaps she may have been absent on those days when her schoolmates were studying Nazism, I reminded her of some of Hitler’s more egregious crimes against humanity, suggesting she may have overstated the case. She had not; Scalia was worse ...

Aside from being rhetorically hysterical—and demeaning to the memory of those who suffered so terribly as a result of Hitler and the Nazis—it served to remind me of how difficult it is to have serious discussions about politics or social issues with committed members of the Left. They tend to do things like accusing members of the Right of sowing the seeds of hatred while, at the same time, comparing them to mass murderers. And they do this while completely missing the irony.

As a result of such behavior, Mr. Sajak says he is going to stop arguing with liberals.

Huh. Well. That's interesting.

In the immortal words of Jules Winnfield: Well, allow me to retort!

Hey, Pat Sajak:


Do you understand? How about this:


What is it, exactly, that you do not understand about the fact that YOU ARE PAT SAJAK??


Do you realize who you are? You are the fucking HOST of fucking WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!

That means you are PAT SAJAK. Do you not understand why this means that you should SHUT THE FUCK UP?!!??

I mean, for CHRIST'S SAKE.

Pat mother-fucking Sajak!!


Death head

Those on the Left who support right-to-die laws in general, and the removal of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube specifically, tend to justify their position by talking about the unnecessary suffering of the terminally ill, or by arguing that one's personal autonomy ought to extend, if possible, to the hour and manner of one's own demise.

But many on the Right characterize these positions differently. They say they are indicative of a "culture of death." The say that liberals/lefties who support the right to die are "pro-death," leading us down a slippery slope that begins with pulling Terri Schiavo's life support and ends with a society which grants human life only conditional value, where the elderly or handicapped, the undesirable and inconvenient, are unceremoniously disposed of for the sake of the 'greater good'. At this point, many invoke the specter of the Holocaust, as Peggy Noonan does here:

Once you "know" ... that human life is not so special after all ... then everything is possible, and none of it is good. When a society comes to believe that human life is not inherently worth living, it is a slippery slope to the gas chamber. You wind up on a low road that twists past Columbine and leads toward Auschwitz.

Now, according to Noonan, the Left's championing of "pro-death" policies is not merely a result of good intentions combined with a foolish myopia, but of left-wing infatuation with death itself:

I do not understand the emotionalism of the pull-the-tube people ... They seem to have fallen half in love with death ...

The pull-the-tube people say, "She must hate being brain-damaged." Well, yes, she must ... Who wouldn't feel extreme sadness at being extremely disabled? I'd weep every day, wouldn't you? But consider your life. Are there not facets of it, or facts of it, that make you feel extremely sad, pained, frustrated, angry? But you're still glad you're alive, aren't you? Me too. No one enjoys a deathbed. Very few want to leave.

Terri Schiavo may well die. No good will come of it. Those who are half in love with death will only become more red-fanged and ravenous.

But Peggy is being restrained. David Limbaugh says that the Left has a "lust for death," and Timothy Birdnow at The American Thinker accuses Leftists of being members of a virtual cult of death, and tries "to elucidate the deep, convoluted workings of the Humanist mind and explain what is to us a bizarre impulse to kill." His conclusions?

Many in the [sanctity of life] camp ... can't understand the zeal with which people are trying to kill Terri Schiavo ... I would argue that this eagerness is a natural outgrowth of the deeper root philosophy of liberalism, and that the “culture of death” as Pope John Paul II has termed it, is fundamental to who liberals are and what they believe.

First, we need a term to better describe those who, for whatever reason, have joined the ranks of those supporting death. They are called by too many different names; Pro-choice, Pro-abortion, Pro-euthanasia, Pro-stem cell research, Physician assisted suicide advocates, etc. It becomes far too confusing with so many labels. We need a one-size-fits-all term.

Grateful Dead fans are called deadheads. Fans of Rush Limbaugh are called dittoheads, Fans of Jimmy Buffet are parrotheads, Ah, maybe that's it! Maybe deathheads! They are fans and enthusiasts for Death, and they are the last visage many poor souls will see, if they get their way.

Hmm ... "deathheads." Has a certain ring to it.

But what is behind the deathheads' ardor for the annihilation of human life?

What is it that motivates the deathheads? Why are they so eager in their pursuit of death? ...The liberals have fought a three hundred year war against Christ, and if man and reason are to make suitable replacement gods, they must have certain divine powers. But what powers can a substitute god have? God is the Author of life, but man can be the author of death.

This obsession with death can be seen throughout history. Consider the butchery during the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, and the Nazi atrocities. Consider the careless disregard for life by all the former communist regimes. In Leftist societies, life is cheap ... To the deathheads, human will is the final master, and death serves as an instrument of that will.

By controlling the time, place, and manner of death, the deathheads have a semblance of the powers of the divine. Possibly, that is why the death of Terri Schiavo is so important to them ... If they could force the death of Terri despite the pro-life forces arrayed against them, they would establish their right to command death for the innocent. If they have the right to kill when their reason adjudges it necessary, they have established their coequality with the Creator.

So just to recap Birdnow's argument: liberals and leftists are conspiring to kill God and to assume His throne ourselves. We love death, because it makes us powerful. Also, the Nazis were Leftists.

He seems to have left out our infant-sacrificing Pagan blood orgies, but I'm sure that was just an oversight.

My God, we lefties are sick bastards. Were not my soul so malevolent, and my mind so depraved, I wouldn't be capable of looking in a mirror without becoming ill from the sheer horror of my existence.

But the real victims of the deathheads?The children, of course. Peggy Noonan again:

And those who are still learning--our children--oh, what terrible lessons they're learning. What terrible stories are shaping them ... They are seeing a society--their society, their people--on the verge of famously accepting, even embracing, the idea that a damaged life is a throwaway life ... It cannot be good for our children, and the world they will make, that they are given this new lesson that human life is not precious, not touched by the divine, not of infinite value.

We should have known--it's all about the children. What will we tell the children?

I have an idea.

Tell them the same thing that I am going to tell Noonan, Limbaugh, and the others on the Right who can't comprehend how death could ever be preferable to life:

Peggy, David, Timothy: you are going to die.

Everyone you know is going to die.

Your family members, your friends, all the people you love: destined for the grave, one and all.

Good or bad, sooner or later, like it or not: dead, every one of them. You too. There is no avoiding this.

What you take to be a "love of" or "lust for" death is simply a recognition of this inevitability.

Birdnow claims that the deathheads are utilitarians, seeking only to minimize suffering. This is half right. "Deathheads" do indeed recognize utilitarian considerations; purposeless suffering is inherently bad, and should be minimized when possible. Why force a terminally ill patient to undergo another three months of life that will be spent in constant pain?

But utilitarian considerations are not the only relevant concerns. The driving moral idea behind the right-to-die movement, if it can be called that, is a Kantian respect for the autonomy of the individual.

The reason Terri Schiavo is dying (dead?) is not because she is a nuisance to her husband. It is not because we view her as human refuse. It is not even because she is suffering. It is because the courts have found that it is what she wanted. As far as the state is concerned, Terri Schiavo made this decision herself. Which is as it should be.

Note well: it is not that Terri Schiavo has decided to die. No one decides to die, because one cannot decide where there is no other option. What she decided was that, faced with the option of dying young or living for forty years as a vegetable, she would prefer the former.

Peggy Noonan and David Limbaugh may not agree with that choice, but that is irrelevant, because it is not their choice to make. If they like, they can create living wills stipulating that life support not be removed under any circumstances. Terri made a different choice, and for her sake, as well as for the sake of all those who have made a similar decision regarding their own destiny, should they be unfortunate enough to meet with the same fate that she has, that choice must be respected, and her wishes must be honored.

Michelle Malkin: you are a freak

M & M detects a liberal bias in press coverage of the Schiavo case:

... the mainstream media has ignored the amazing stories of pro-life activists who have been keeping vigil outside Terri Schiavo's hospice ... Instead, we get pieces like this Associated Press report--which treats pro-life activists as freaks and editorializes disapprovingly that demonstrators have brought children "some too young to truly understand why they are there."

For millions of Americans of faith of all ages, standing up for the sanctity of life is not just an empty slogan--but a deeply-held principle put into action daily. The MSM had ample opportunity to tell the stories of some of the inspiring people who have stood vigil outside Terri Schiavo's hospice. Instead, as they have done throughout this ordeal, they looked the other way.

Let's see ... according to the AP story that Malkin refers to, one of the children at the "vigil" was "7-year-old Hannah Donahue" who wore "a piece of red tape emblazoned with the word 'LIFE' plastered across her mouth and an orange sign on her chest bearing the word 'JAIL.' "

Now you tell me, Michelle: do you really think that a fucking 7-year-old understands this issue? I realize that your own thought hasn't progressed all that much since you were that age, but believe it or not, some moral dilemmas are too complicated for seven-year-olds to fully comprehend.

As for the "inspiring people" with "amazing stories" who are among the protesters: would that include Scott Heldreth?

As protests outside the hospice housing Terri Schiavo in her final days mounted last week, numerous newspaper reports, many based on an Associated Press account, mentioned or quoted 10-year-old Joshua Heldreth and/or his father, Scott Heldreth. Josh was one of several youngsters arrested for crossing police lines in Pinellas Park, Fla., in an effort to take water to Schiavo.

None of the stories revealed that Scott Heldreth, a religious activist and anti-abortion crusader, is a registered sex offender in Florida-- until The Charlotte Observer mentioned it on Sunday.

A widely published AP story on Sunday by Allen G. Breen had painted a warmer picture of the Heldreths, noting that it was young Josh who insisted that his father take him to the protests from their home in North Carolina, not the other way around. "God's with me," Josh said.

The article continued: "Scott Heldreth, a veteran of the Operation Rescue and Operation Save America campaigns against abortion, didn't intend to join this fight, until his son asked to be brought to Pinellas Park. 'My wife and I, we felt like if God really put it on his heart, we should come down, to allow him to live out what God had put on his heart,' says Heldreth, a carpenter.”

The story said some of the children at the protest carried signs accusing Terry Schiavo’s husband of murdering her and urging that he be sent to jail.

The Charlotte Observer story, however, revealed that Heldreth had pleaded guilty to sexual battery, was in jail for parts of 1992 and 1993, according to court records, and served time on probation.


According to the story, Heldreth claimed that his religious beliefs came to him while in jail. Before then, he said, "I basically agreed with everyone trying to kill Terri Schiavo." Then, he said, he accepted Christ and turned his life around.

Heldreth declined to discuss the specifics of the incident that led to his jail time. Online research shows that Heldreth was arrested after an incident at Ohio University and charged with two counts of rape and one count of kidnapping.

All emphasis mine. All stupidity Malkin's.


Noah McCullough: stop being such a pussy

My goal is to one day be the President of this great country! But right now I want other kids my age to know about the history of the United States and about important political events and issues and how they work! Hopefully I can lead the way to a better understanding and more patriotism by campaigning and this website!

"I want to make a difference by leading the way!" Noah McCullough


It has now been nearly two weeks since I initially challenged Noah McCullough, Bush's 9-year-old shill, to go mano a mano with me. At the time, I explained why I made this challenge:

Noah is in desperate need of a good ass-kicking, for his own good as well as that of the country. But apparently, no one has yet bothered to give it to him. This got me to thinking: what has become of our society?!? Noah goes to school, presumably--you're telling me that visiting [George H.W. Bush's] presidential library 27 times [as Noah has] isn't good for at least a weekly thrashing? What's wrong with the youth of America?

Well, I have decided to pick up the slack, to do the duty that Noah's classmates have so irresponsibly shirked. I am going to kick Noah's ass.

Yet here we are, two weeks out, and Noah still has not received the ass-kicking he so richly deserves. I generously offered to fight at the time and place of his choosing, but I have heard nothing from Noah's camp. He is clearly dodging me.

Noah, if you think you are going to be President of the United States someday--which, you state on your website, is your ultimate ambition--you can't start off by acting like such a big pussy. You've got to meet challenges head on, not run away from them like a little bitch. The American people do not want a little bitch for their president.

So what's it gonna be, Noah? Are you going to continue to play hide-and-seek? Or will you stand up and be a man, and take your medicine? I look forward to hearing from you.


What was I thinking?

I've added Capitalist Pig vs. Socialist Swine to my prestigious and exclusive blogroll. I don't know why the hell it wasn't there already, because it is an excellent site. I think I was initially confused as to whether it should be classified under "Allies" or "Adversaries". But Socialist Swine seems to do most of the posting there, so I'll go ahead and file it under Allies.

Anyway, this unforgivable omission is hereby rectified. If you don't already read the Swine's blog, I highly recommend it.


Bloglines sucks

Anyone who uses Bloglines as an aggregator to read all yer favorite blogs, beware: it sucks.

You can't trust it. Often, sites are updated, but Bloglines doesn't tell you. Even when you tell it to display all posts from the last 24, or 48, or 72, or whatever, hours, new posts don't always show up.


Firefox rocks

If you're not already using Firefox as your browser, I recommend switching over. I know this is a touchy issue, so let me say that I don't think Firefox is obviously or decidedly superior to IE. But I do think, all told, Firefox is the better choice--especially if you are a blogger. The little toolbar that lets you instantly search not only google, but also Wikipedia,, amazon, and others, is incredibly handy. And tabbed browsing is also awfully handy if, like me, you like to keep a lot of pages open at the same time.

If you do use Firefox, you should also add the Tab Mix extension, which gives the tab function more versatility.

If you don't want to switch away from Internet Explorer, I highly recommend augmenting it with Avant Browser, an IE 'update,' which keeps the IE look and feel but gives you something very similar to tabbed browsing.

Blogarama - The Blog Directory Sanity is not statistical.