Dada is the sun, Dada is the egg. Dada is the Police of the Police.

3/01/2006

Damn airplanes

Little known fact: I hate flying. As in, I will do just about anything to avoid it. I'd rather drive from New York to L.A. than take a plane. Part of it is that I spend the whole flight wondering if the plane is going to crash - taking note of every bump or funny noise, trying to figure out if it's just routine or a sign of imminent disaster. But another part of it is that flying is just about the most miserable way to travel I could possibly imagine. The hassle at the airport, the interminable 'taxi-ing', the passengers practically sitting on top of one another ... ugh. And what's with the flight attendants coming around and offering you a soft drink and a little bag of peanuts? (They really do have the stupid peanuts!) Are we still pretending that flying is some sort of genteel mode of transportation, as it was five decades ago when men would actually wear a suit just because they were going on a plane? Come on. It's a Greyhound bus with wings.

Anyway, before I veer off into stand-up comedy land, my point is: stories like these (HT: Moderate Voice) don't make me feel any better about the whole airplane business:
A PANIC-STRICKEN air stewardess sparked terror on her turbulence-hit flight by screaming: "We're going to crash."

The hostess, named only as Wendy, stunned hundreds of passengers on the Gatwick-to-Las Vegas Virgin flight by repeating the outburst three times.

She cracked as the jet began shaking and sharply dived 8,000ft.

Passenger Claire Daley, 34, of Stone, Staffs, said: "Outside, we could see the wing was bent right up by the force.

"I looked to the stewardess for reassurance. But she let out a large scream and shouted three times, 'We're going to crash'.

"At that, all the other passengers screamed too."

People were thrown to the floor in the drama and meals were sent flying.
They landed safely, for the record, and everything was fine....

...this time.

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