Globe luxation, a.k.a. when your eyeballs fall out
I couldn't get through this article on Slate about what to do IF YOUR EYEBALL FALLS OUT OF ITS SOCKET - a.k.a. "globe luxation." Apparently this is more common than I had previously been led to believe - it can happen when you sneeze, for the sake of Christ. The article even tells you how to PUT YOUR OWN EYE BACK IN if it falls out.
First direct your gaze downward. Now pinch and pull your upper eyelid with the thumb and index finger of one hand. Lay a finger from your other hand on the top part of your luxated eyeball, taking care to press only on the insensitive white part. While you continue to hold your eyelid up, push your eyeball gently down and back at the same time until it's part of the way in. Then try to look upwards; if everything goes right your eyeball will rotate under the upper lid and back into its socket.
I am seriously disturbed.