Dada is the sun, Dada is the egg. Dada is the Police of the Police.

2/18/2006

Contract of Wifely Expectations

Dum Pendebat Filius links to a story on the Smoking Gun about a psychotic husband whose attempts to control his wife included a four-page contract dictating, in excruciating detail, exactly what he expected from her - a "Contract of Wifely Expectations," as he titled it. A few excerpts (headings, humorous misspellings, and awkward phrasing sic):
Hygiene & Self-care

You will shave every third day, which includes underarms, chest, legs, and public area (navel to anus), all areas are to be completely clean shaven. Above your vaginal slit you may have a patch of pubic hair in any shape, that must be centered above your vaginal slit, it will measure no greater than 2.0" X 1.0", and will maintain a hair lenth of less 1/3".


Clothes & Other Apparel

You will wear only thigh-highs & garters, and only thong panties. The only exception would be during your menstrual cycle, at which time you could wear either or both. Half of your shoe purchases will be high-heels, 2" or more. You will then wear these high heels more often. ...You be able to keep 5 pairs of non-thong panties of your choice for use during menstrual cycle.


Sleepwear & Sleeping

When we are at home ... you will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed, and then sleep naked, unless instructed otherwise. If I am not home when the kids go to bed you are still to be naked before I return home. The only exception will be during your menstrual cycle.

...When we are in bed together I can cuddle, spoon, hold or touch you in any way, as long as it does not excessively disruptive to your sleep.


My-Time

When we are at home ... from when you are to be naked until 12:00 am, or for three hours, which ever is later, will be My-Time. This time you will devout solely to me, whereas you will be in my service to do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I want, which may or may not be sexual in manner.

... During My-Time you WILL NOT:

1. Argue about anything with me or to me
2. Complain about anything to me, or about me
3. Cry, sob, whine, or pout
4. Sigh, moan, sulk, or otherwise show displeasure or unhappiness
5. Raise your voice at or to me
6. Be condescending to, or about me
7. Ask for anything from me or for me
8. Be distracted from me, by other things

During My-Time, you WILL:

1. Be subservient, submissive, and totally obedient
2. To do what you are asked, when you are asked, exactly how you are asked
3. Be cheerful and adoring towards me
4. Be close at all times, unless otherwise told to
5. Perform any and all sexual acts, excluding anal penetration and/or ingestion of cum, when told to


Good Behavior

Since there will be no trading, negotiations, or concilliations of any kind you are given chances to earn Good Behavior Days (GBD's). To receive GBD's you are to be totally compliant with everything requested or expected of you, and perform everything with complete and total enthusiasm. GBD's will be given when you do things from the descriptions below when not expected...

Each GBD can be used to "get out of" doing the things request or expected of you for an entire day with the following exceptions: birthdays anniversary, shaving, and sleepwear ... GBD's can be redeemed anytime after you received them to the end of the next quarter. You must notify me by 12:00 pm of the day you are using a GBD or it can not be used.

(...)


Fellatio, Intercourse, and Other Sex Acts

Fellatio must last, at least, 5 min. and may include climax. Intercourse includes anal and vaginal intercourse. Sex acts can be oral, anal or vaginal, and include but are not limited too: stripping, hand-jobs, fingering, masturbation, dildoing, vibrators, and object insertions. All applications of lube to myself, you, or any object, will be done by you.


Photos

You are to pose for 20 photos per quarter on demand ... Outfits, toys, and poses will ALWAYS be chosen by me. You must be freshly shaven on the day that photos are taken regardless of your shaving schedule...

The full story

A Cleveland Plain Dealer article says there was a "complex mix" behind Hackett's departure from the Senate campaign:
For all the storm whipped up by his fiery parting words, however, the full story of Hackett's decision to withdraw may be more complex than his initial comments indicated.

Interviews with people familiar with his campaign suggest that Hackett's team was struggling not only with outside pressures from Democrats eager to avoid a primary, but also from internal tensions stemming partly from Hackett's personality and his newness to the grueling pressures of running a hotly contested, high-profile Senate race.

Former aides say that some of the very strengths that made many Democrats see star potential in the tall, handsome, blunt-talking Marine major - his independence, his irreverence, his disdain for politics as usual - also made it particularly hard for Hackett to adjust to the demands of running for Senate.

Hackett's only experience with big-time politics, they point out, was a short special-election campaign for Congress that drew little attention outside southwest Ohio until its final few weeks.

"It's a very hard thing to make the jump to running for U.S. Senate," said Mark Blumenthal, a pollster who worked for Hackett's campaign. "There's a reason why people who have done it a lot of times are better at it - because you learn the hard way how hard is it to raise that money and how important it is to have experienced people around and to trust them."

...Former Hackett aides say the biggest problem facing his campaign at the end was insufficient money. Hackett cited the problem himself in an interview with The Plain Dealer earlier this week. Despite his initial rant on party leaders, he said, the overriding reason for his exit was a realization that he couldn't raise the $3 million he thought he needed to win the primary.

... One of their biggest obstacles to banking that money, they said, was that Hackett hated fund raising.

While most candidates share that feeling, people familiar with Hackett's campaign say he was especially resistant to efforts by aides to get him to use one of the most efficient but unpleasant fund raising techniques: sitting at the phone for hours, calling friends, relatives, and strangers to ask for money. Tension over the problem led in January to the departure of his finance director.

...Another problem for his campaign, some aides say, was that Hackett - who billed himself as a political outsider eager to change Washington's ways - didn't seem to fully trust the political professionals he hired to help run his race. It was shocking but not out of character, they say, that Hackett announced his departure to The New York Times Monday without first telling his staff, who learned of it from the Times.
Is it common for candidates dropping out of a race to inform the media before they inform their own staff? Seems kind of classless, but I don't know, maybe that's SOP.

2/17/2006

Partners in crime

From Kos via The Lion and The Donkey:
At the same time the United States is having an internal debate about whether or not to bomb Iran (or take some type of military action) to stop their nuclear program the US is siding with Iran in a debate at the United Nations to "deny UN consultative status to organizations working to protect the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people [...]
Remember this when we start hearing about the US's duty to bomb the hell out of Iran for humanitarian reasons.

I'm sorry you shot me in the face

Really!

To the extreme

I followed a link from the Corner to an WaPo online chat with early-'90s music legend Vanilla Ice. Now, I know it's wrong to kick someone when he's down, and it's even worse to kick someone when he's Vanilla Ice, but this was too good to let pass. Asked, "What are you currently up to?," the Vanilla one responded:
I've been really busy, playing over 100 shows per year for the past year. Just got back from Russia and played huge stadiums over there -- 35,000 people a show. They're out of that iron claw thing now, so any American act that plays there is really huge.


... someone also asked this question:
How did the name "Vanilla Ice" originate? Why is the name so focused on your whiteness? Was it a toss-up between "Vanilla Ice" and "Marshmallow Ghost?"

You gotta preserve

Kos:
In the Massachussets Democratic gubernatorial primary, Deval Patrick has made serious gains on the establishment favorite Thomas Reilly.

In the Rhode Island Democratic senatorial primary, Matt Brown has made serious gains on the establishment favorite Sheldon Whitehouse.

Insurgent candidates can compete when they stay in the game.

Who will defend Exxon?

Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto, that's who:
It is easy to make the oil companies villains, when they’re making dough. It hardly seems to rate when they are not.

The oil companies need no lobby. Sometimes I just wonder if they need something else: a fair shake.

2/16/2006

Good luck

A fat man says he's going to get thin by walking across the entire country.
Gary Long began his ambitious, girth-burning quest in fine St. Louis style. He stepped off beneath the Arch on Wednesday to the peal of the Old Cathedral's bells.

Sunshine broke through billowy clouds as he strode across the Arch grounds to the Eads Bridge. Television crews hustled alongside to record his every headstrong step.

All he had left was another 2,900 miles.

Long, 51, of Fenton, says he will tread the breadth of the United States over the next year to burn away half of his 360 pounds. Long has tried and failed with diets and gyms. He needs a dramatic challenge.

"I will not quit until I walk beneath this Arch again," Long declared to a small gathering. "It will be hard, but it's something I know I must do."

Long grew up in St. Louis and Poplar Bluff, Mo., spent 21 years in the Army and came home 11 years ago a trim 180 pounds. He became a long-haul trucker and, he said, that's how his troubles began.

"Too many of those truckers' buffets," he said. "Then home on the couch, eating pizza. I have to remove myself from all of that and stay focused."

...He plans to sleep along the road in a small tent and keep in touch with his wife, Cheryl, by cell phone. He'll give himself a motel bed once a week.

...He plans to make 13 to 18 miles per day heading for New York, mainly via old U.S. Highway 40. He will double-back by airplane to Los Angeles, then head east for his last 1,900 miles.

2/15/2006

There's no crying in politics

I don't want to belabor the Hackett thing, because it's basically a moot point now. But I do want to make one point. This kind of response -
I just have one thing to say right now: Sherrod Brown better win this
- is silly. Guess what - Brown might not win. Hackett might not have won either. It will be ultimately up to the voters of Ohio. And as others have pointed out, nobody forced Hackett out. He could have remained in the race, but he quit because he knew he couldn't win - which is another relevant point: in all likelihood, Brown was going to be the nominee anyway. So Hackett's departure changes little, except that it avoids a primary, which isn't always bad, but Hackett's attack-dog strategy would have only hurt Brown's chances in the general.

Also, I want to note David Sirota's response to the manner of Hackett's departure:
...successful candidates - whoever they are - have to have the tenacity in order to be elected. I'm sure Paul Hackett has tenacity in parts of his life - hell, he went off to combat in Iraq. But its clear he doesn't have political tenacity...

...He clearly didn't have what it took to win. Whatever the reason for that - be it that he couldn't raise the money, he couldn't build the organization, he didn't really have the widespread support people claimed he had, he didn't like people asking him tough questions about his positions, whatever it was - he was weeded out.

...Someone who bails out in a primary claiming they got "forced out" clearly would not have had the mettle to win this race when the inevitable GOP onslaught came. Further, Hackett's behavior raises serious questions about what he would have been like in the Senate. When adversity struck - would he have picked up his ball and gone home?

...I'll try to sum up what I'm saying here by referencing the ironclad rule I've written about before: there's no crying in politics. The successful candidates are the ones who don't get forced out ... Alternately, the people who scream and whine about being "forced out" are the ones who knew they were going to lose anyway. The nihlistic outrage and conspiracy-theory claims over Hackett's announcement is really pathetic. I mean, come on folks, all contested seats are about one thing: trying to "force" the other guy out, whether through the ballot box or through other forms of political pressure. That's the VERY DEFINITION OF POLITICS - and a political candidate who says they are "upset" about political pressure is like a person being on a baseball team and then getting upset that they are asked to play baseball.

Frankly, I don't think Hackett even believes he was "forced out." Why? Because I think he is a smart guy, and to actually believe you got "forced out" is just too ridiculously stupid a concept for someone like him to actually subscribe to.

My guess is he saw his poor fundraising numbers, saw that he was going to get crushed in the primary, wanted the race handed to him, didn't feel like doing the hard, unglamorous work that candidates have to do in the modern era to be competitive, and got out. Then, to save face, he created this ridiculous martyr story that he got "forced out" - a concept, remember, that doesn't exist in this country. There are no people with bayonets preventing anyone from running or "forcing" candidates out of the race. That's Third World stuff. In this country, when someone says they've been "forced out" of a race, it really means they weren't ready for primetime, they knew it, and were desperate to save face.


UPDATE: Sirota also links to a Nation article worth reading. Basic idea: Hackett left not because he was 'forced out' but rather because his own internal polling wasn't looking good.

Oh it's still funny

Cartoon via Socialist Swine:


Joke via Brad DeLong: "Cheney invited Ted Kennedy on a hunting trip. Kennedy agreed, but only if he could drive."

2/14/2006

I hope you rot in hell

This, via Boing Boing, is a "Grand Opulence" sundae that a restaurant in NYC sells - for a thousand dollars.


Made with "5 scoops of the richest Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream infused with Madagascar vanilla and covered in 23K edible gold leaf, the sundae is drizzled with the world's most expensive chocolate, Amedei Porceleana, and covered with chunks of rare Chuao chocolate, which is from cocoa beans harvested by the Caribbean Sea on Venezuela's coast. The masterpiece is suffused with exotic candied fruits from Paris, gold dragets, truffles and Marzipan Cherries. It is topped with a tiny glass bowl of Grand Passion Caviar, an exclusive dessert caviar, made of salt-free American Golden caviar, known for its sparkling golden color. It's sweetened and infused with fresh passion fruit, orange and Armagnac. The sundae is served in a baccarat Harcourt crystal goblet with an 18K gold spoon to partake in the indulgence served with a petite mother of pearl spoon and topped with a gilded sugar flower by Ron Ben-Israel."
This has to be one of the most fucked-up things I've ever seen, an indictment of the human race. If I ever have occasion to see someone eating this thing, I swear to God I will pick up the nearest blunt object and bludgeon them to death with it.


...on a related note, I saw this in Slate:
An article [in New York Magazine] examines the rising prices of luxury goods and our increasing willingness to pay them. In response to the claim that paying $30,000 for a dress is "immoral," the author quips that "vibrant fashion exists outside of morality."

In other news

If you've had your fill of reading about Dick "How I Could Just Kill A Man" Cheney and his zany hunting escapades, I invite you to witness Glenn Greenwald tearing Instapundit a new asshole.

Wow

You know what's really, really relevant to "Cheney Shot a Dude in the Face"-gate?

Vince Foster
.

(Foster may be the one who is dead, but Bill Clinton manages to continue to haunt the thoughts of wingnuts everywhere, five years after he left office.)

My favorite Cheney joke so far

From Jimmy Kimmel, of all people, via the Liberal Avenger:

"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil."

See Liberal Avenger for more of the ha-ha.

Hackett's out

Not only is he quitting the Senate race, he says he's getting out of politics altogether:
Mr. Hackett said Senators Charles E. Schumer of New York and Harry Reid of Nevada, the same party leaders who he said persuaded him last August to enter the Senate race, had pushed him to step aside so that Representative Sherrod Brown, a longtime member of Congress, could take on Senator Mike DeWine, the Republican incumbent.

..."This is an extremely disappointing decision that I feel has been forced on me," said Mr. Hackett, whose announcement comes two days before the state's filing deadline for candidates. He said he was outraged to learn that party leaders were calling his donors and asking them to stop giving and said he would not enter the Second District Congressional race.

"For me, this is a second betrayal," Mr. Hackett said. "First, my government misused and mismanaged the military in Iraq, and now my own party is afraid to support candidates like me."
I haven't given this a lot of thought, so I'm open to being persuaded otherwise, but at first blush this move just seems to confirm that Hackett was in no way ready to be a candidate for Senate - to react to a fairly standard phenomenon in politics (party leaders stepping in like this, which is admittedly uncool but also to be expected) by saying, essentially, that he's taking his ball and going home seems, frankly, immature.

To his credit, Kos seems to have a sensible take on this:
...the party wasn't afraid of Hackett, they were afraid of an untested candidate in a high-profile Senate race. He'd have all the support in the world had he decided to run for OH-02. And he'd be able to build on that support for a Senate race in 2010.

...Hackett is complaining about betrayal. Yet Rahm was trying to get him to become one of his candidates. In other words, Rahm was recruiting him. That's not a bad thing. That's a flattering thing.

To be clear -- Hackett didn't stand a chance. He had a tenth of Brown's money, and that was before party people allegedly tried to stop Hackett's donors from giving.

...To be further clear, Brown announced his candidacy before Hackett did. Yes, Reid and Schumer were urging Hackett to run, but he wouldn't commit to running. Labor Day, the traditional announcement day for most candidates, came and went with Hackett refusing to say what his plans were. So after waiting and waiting and waiting, Brown essentially said "fuck it" and got in. It was only after news of Brown's impending announcement were leaked that Hackett decided to commit to the race.

Bottom line? Hackett didn't stand a chance, he wasn't backstabbed by his party since Brown's candidacy was announced before his was (if he'd only committed sooner, Brown might've stayed out), and the party wasn't out to screw him, they were out to get him to run in the House.
The party leaders obviously saw Hackett as a resource, a 'prospect' candidate who had promise and could be effective in a certain role, but wasn't ready for the first string - hardly a 'betrayal'. Again, it would be nice if they left that decision to primary voters, but it's hard to imagine that their interference was motivated by being "afraid" to support Hackett. What would be so scary about Hackett to party leaders? He's a fairly moderate, mainstream, charismatic candidate who (for reasons that escape me, but whatever) still seems to get the 'base' excited. I mean, they probably were afraid for him to run as their Senate candidate, but that's just because he's still too green, and has a habit of saying stupid things in public.

Again, I'm saying all this without reflecting too terribly much on, so maybe I'm looking at things the wrong way. But right now I'd have to imagine that there's not going to be a lot of regret over Hackett's departure.

2/13/2006

New toys


Enquiring minds want to know

Q: Why is it proper to support Ned Lamont's challenge to Joe Lieberman on the grounds that Lieberman is a DINO, but supporting Chuck Pennacchio over Bob Casey, who is far more conservative than Lieberman, is just silly?

A: "Viability." A.k.a. a magical essence possessed by some candidates that only a handful of bloggers can perceive.


...Upyernoz fights fire with fire:
i don't think kos is a viable candidate to lead the progressive charge to "crash the gates." at least he's not acting like one.

2/12/2006

Seriously ...

I'm going through my bloglines subscriptions, and almost every single blogger has a post up about Cheney trying to shoot a bird and instead shooting a guy in the face. Why? I suppose because it's pretty damn funny. (Matt thinks it's funny, too.) And you know those annoying people who have to be the first to tell everybody when something noteworthy happens? Every blogger.

An AMERICAblogger wonders why we didn't hear about this until 24 hours after it happened, speculating that the White House was waiting to see if the victim was going to live or not.

Neil Shakespeare has the best headline: "Cheney's Got a Gun."


...Grace says: "You'd think that being personally responsible for starting an obscenely unnecessary war, the deaths of more than 2000 American military, the deaths of tens of thousands Iraqis, and the crippling and maiming of tens of thousands more Americans and Iraqis would be more than enough bloodsport for one man. But not Cheney. He just had to lock and load one more time. And as usual, it was an unfair fight. "

Bad aim

Cheney accidentally shoots a fellow hunter. (He's OK.)

Ruchira Paul: "...we already know from the misguided war in Iraq, Bush-Cheney do tend to go after the wrong target."


...James Wolcott: "Vice President Elmer Fudd wings bystander."


Also, sorry about posting on something you are bound to have already read about fifty times by the time you see this.

Blogarama - The Blog Directory Sanity is not statistical.